My Dearest Love
by Aiko-love-Anime
Summary: The story of Holy Rome and Italy's love after he went to war. An innocent love story told through letters. What shall happen in this world of love, pain, and separation...? A Holy Rome X Chibitalia/Italy story with a lovely twist and a whole lot of angst.
1. Chapter 1

This story is based off the idea of a one shot I did previously entitled, _Farewell, My Dearest Italy_. The first chapter is very similar, exact in some parts, to that one shot. However, this will be a full length story. I hope you enjoy.

~Aiko-love-Anime

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><p>My Dearest Italy,<p>

I am sorry I left you so suddenly; I wish I did not have to, but a war must be fought and I have been beckoned forth. I must protect what I love, and that is you.

I pray to God every night that you, Italy, never have to see what I have seen, or do what I have done. I want nothing more than to create a world in which you, my dearest, never have to fight. I cannot begin to explain how deeply it pains me to think one day you may have to. I will continue to fight and, even if I shall die, protect you from all the pains and displeasures of our imperfect world. I will never let anyone harm you, my beloved Italy.

I wish not to alarm you, but this war has exceeded the level of severity I had previously thought. If it was not for a recent victory and the enemy's sudden retreat, we would not have made camp for the night and I would not be writing to you. I am sure they will return at dawn. For now my men are resting, and I am writing to you.

There are many things I need to tell you, and many things I need to ask. For now, however, I shall say the most important:

If I should die in this war or disappear, do not weep for me. Take my strength and show the world your smile. Never get angry at what another country does; just forgive them and move on.

Italy, never lose yourself. Do not change who you are for someone else, always be you. Live as the happy and loving country you are. Never stop loving, never stop caring. This world needs more countries, more people, like you.

I pray this night does not end, for if it did not, I would not have to fight. I wish only to return to you, and hold you in my arms again. As I sit here, restless from today's battle, I think of the future when my lips can once again brush yours. If only I could sit and write to you forever, this war would never have to be fought.

But the world is not that kind.

Do not cry for me, I have made you cry too many a time already. Rest in assurance that I am strong and my soldiers are brave, together, there is no enemy too great to be defeated. If you are still restless, pray for me and put your faith in God. He shall protect me in my quest for a better world. Quell your fears, Italy.

It is late, my love. I must retire for the night, for the war will continue in the morning. We will invade enemy territory, it is an unknown area to our side and it shall be dangerous, but in this moment I only wish to think of you. Perhaps I shall dream of you tonight, and perhaps you of me.

I love you, my dearest Italy.

-HRE


	2. Chapter 2

Dear Holy Rome,

I miss you terribly. The days here are so empty without you. You know me all too well when you wrote of me worrying for you in your previous letter. Know that I have been praying for you, Holy Rome. I pray every morning when I wake, every afternoon after lunch, and every night before I sleep.

I wish more than anything that I could be there for you, but I am not strong and Mister Austria and Miss Hungary would never let me go to war. If you ever miss me, Holy Rome, do remember you have my push broom. It may not have been much, but it was the only thing I could give you before you left. Whenever you see it, I hope you think of me waiting for you.

May you come home safe, healthy, and victorious.

Love,

Italy

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><p>It's so short . The letters will get longer I promise ^^' Thanks for reading~<p>

~ Aiko-love-Anime


	3. Chapter 3

My Dearest Italy,

I apologize, but I have broken your push broom. When I awoke the morning after I wrote my previous letter, my camp was attacked by the enemy's returning forces. I was forced back into my tent, and in defense I grabbed it to stop the soldier's sword. He swung again and snapped its handle in two. I was able to fend him off with the splintered wood long enough to reach my sword. I'm sorry I broke your precious broom, I know sweeping was a chore you did not mind in the least. When I return, I will buy you a new one, even better than this one.

Thank you for your prayers, Italy. I miss you as well, my love. Though I do not have your push broom, I do have my memories of us, and that shall be enough to get me through this time of great hardship.

Do not forget to smile.

-HRE

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><p>Yay! Chapter 3, again short, but short means more chapter updates quicker. :) Please take the poll on my profile to help me decide a name for a union between Liechtenstein and Switzerland. It's part of another story I'm writing and it's really important, but I can't decide . Thanks for reading~!<p>

~ Aiko-love-Anime


	4. Chapter 4

Dear Holy Rome,

Do not fret over the push broom; all I care about is that you are safe. I would be so upset if you had been hurt. If it saved your life, I do not mind if it broke. You do not have to buy me a new one; Mister Austria has several here, but thank you.

I know you have been at war, may I ask how you are doing? Are you gaining ground? I wish I could be of some use to you. Is there anything I can do here that will help you in your battle? I know that praying for you should be enough, but I still feel as if I am not doing anything for you. Tell me, no matter how insignificant it may seem, if there is anything that I can do for you.

Love,

Italy

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><p>And chapter four... Things will get interesting, I promise. Hang in there ^^'<p>

~ Aiko-love-Anime


	5. Chapter 5

My Dearest Italy,

I have been faring well, my forces have gained much ground in enemy territory, but we have yet to see any long term fighting. I suppose I should be thankful for that fact. Recently, however, we had to retreat from a battle; we were greatly out-manned and surrounded by unfamiliar terrain that the enemy used to its advantage. We had a few casualties, but I suppose that that is war.

As for the matter of your offer to help, would you mind so terribly to write about how it is back there? I know I no longer live with Austria, for I have my own home now, but I still like to hear about what goes on when I am so far away.

And I would like to hear about you, my love. How are you? Has anything interesting happened to you? Your stories of home would help me rest much easier through the long nights. Would you mind writing of home for me? I would greatly appreciate it.

Stay hopeful.

-HRE

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><p>Chapter 5. . Holy Rome is so kind to his little Italy~<p>

Thanks for reading~

~ Aiko-love-Anime


	6. Chapter 6

Dear Holy Rome,

How could I mind such a small request? If that is all you need, I would be happy to tell you about home.

I am well, and so is Mister Austria and Miss Hungary. Well, actually… Miss Hungary seems to be a bit out of sorts lately. I believe it is because her childhood friend, Prussia, is out there fighting under you. She may not show it much, but I think she cares for him deeply. The sooner you all come home, the better it will be for all of us.

Speaking of Miss Hungary, she told me something interesting yesterday. I told her how we are both missing each other and she said that the sky connects everyone in the world. She said that no matter how far away someone is from home, the sky will always be overhead, and they will always be connected. She said it is the same for us, Holy Rome. We are connected by the sky, too. So, when you are out there fighting, just look up as I will do the same, and we will be looking at the same sky.

I have to finish my chores now, so I guess I will end this here.

Do not forget to look at the sky when you are lonely.

Love,

Italy

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><p>Thanks for reading~!<p>

~ Aiko-love-Anime


	7. Chapter 7

My Dearest Italy,

I am glad you are in good health, be sure not to work yourself too hard now.

I believe what Miss Hungary said was true. The sky does reach the ends of the Earth, and it is always overhead; something that, no matter where I am or how far I travel, will never change. It is the same back home; the sky will always be there when you look up. It is strange, to think that we never notice something that is eternally in our sight.

I do believe that it connects us, and when you feel lonely during the long nights, look up and see the stars. They will keep you company while I am away, Italy. Watch diligently, for I will send my love for you on a shooting star. Even if it is for but a moment, I want to brighten the darkness of the night and quell your fears of me never returning.

It is late my love, and is the first chance my soldiers and I have had a chance to rest in three days, so I shall end this here.

Watch the sky and you shall never be lonely.

-HRE

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><p>I'm glad a couple of people are taking a liking to this :)<p>

Thanks for reading~!

Comment=boost in motivation=faster writing and updates (yeah, that's how my brain works ;P)

~ Aiko-love-Anime


	8. Chapter 8

Dear Holy Rome,

The nights are much more enjoyable with my new twinkling friends in the sky. My room seems to light up when I move the curtain from the window; the stars glitter so brightly. They are all so big and beautiful, and I always think of you as I watch the night sky.

By the way, I saw a shooting star after reading the last letter you sent me. I was so happy. I wished that your enemy would leave you alone and that you would be able to come home soon. I hope both of my wishes come true. I miss you terribly.

Things are good here at home. Miss Hungary and Mister Austria had a few arguments recently over little things like who was supposed to do what chores. Other than that though, nothing has changed and everything is going well.

There is something I have been wondering, Holy Rome. Are you sleeping well? All of your letters seemed to be written late into the night or in the early hours of the morning. I know war is difficult, but make sure you sleep when you can. Do not waste precious rest to write to me; I can wait. Sleep is most important.

Another star just passed by outside. I wish that you can sleep soundly tonight.

Best Wishes,

Italy

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><p>Check my profile for recent story updates.<p>

Thanks for reading~!

~ Aiko-love-Anime


	9. Chapter 9

My Dearest Italy,

I believe the first of your wishes came true; the enemy retreated soon after I read your letter. With how well we are advancing now, perhaps your second wish will come true soon as well. I also wish for a swift return.

To answer your question, yes I have been a bit restless lately. The war keeps my men and I up to all odd hours of the night, the visions of war-the carnage and devastation-haunt me when I do get the rare occasion to sleep. But it is your letters, Italy, and stories from home that finally get me to fall asleep. It seems that I can only fall asleep after I read your letters and think of returning.

This time apart has made me think about a great many things, my love. About life and about love, about hope and about faith, about you and about me; so many times have I thought through all of these and it always comes to one thing. Italy, my love for you will never waver, and I will never hurt you. I will always stand by you and protect you. I know I have asked before, but my dearest Italy…

Will you marry me?

-HRE

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><p>ehehehe~! Now it's getting better (finally). Hope you liked.<p>

Thanks for reading~!

~ Aiko-love-Anime


	10. Chapter 10

Dear Holy Rome,

I hope you get more rest, and that you to return home soon.

I read your letters over and over again when I start missing you and they keep me patient, but they are no replacement for you, Holy Rome. I want to see you again, to hug you, to laugh and smile with you. I want the days to be filled with joy and excitement, like they used to be when you were here.

My dearest Holy Rome I love you, very much so, but I still do not want to ignore what Grandpa Rome has taught me. He got too big, and virtually destroyed himself. I do not want that to happen again, not to anyone.

As for me, I have filled the days with many sketches and paintings. I cannot wait to show them to you when you return, Holy Rome. I have improved since you left, and I am proud of my achievements. I will send you a sketch with my next letter.

Miss Hungary and Mister Austria have been bickering more and more often. Oh, Holy Rome, what do I do? Sometimes what they fight over is my fault, but I am so scared of getting into trouble that I do not say anything. I wish they would stop fighting, I wish things would go back to the way they were before you left.

I need another shooting star. No, I need MY shooting star; you, Holy Rome. Come home soon.

With love and affection,

Italy

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><p>Don't mind me, I'm just trolling. *trol*trol*trol*trol*<p>

Yeah, it's past midnight, and I'm tired XD

Thanks for reading~

~ Aiko-love-Anime


	11. Chapter 11

My Dearest Italy,

I promise you this: I would never allow my kingdom to become too great for me to control. I know my limitations better than anyone after all.

You worry so greatly, but put your fears to rest. I would take your hand in marriage only to protect you; I would never make you fight. I would give my life before I let someone take yours, my love. Rest assured that my love is pure, and it is you and only you that I will ever love. Even if you should still deny marriage, my affection for you shall never die.

And I will stand by my word forever.

On another note, I am looking forward to your artwork. Your artistic abilities were amazing when I left and, if you truly have improved, I can only imagine the beauty of your work. I am glad you are able to enjoy yourself in our time apart.

As for Austria and Miss Hungary, do not let their bickering get you down, and do not blame yourself; everyone makes mistakes. Speak up when you do something wrong, and they will respect you for it, my love. Dry your tears, Italy.

And smile.

-HRE

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><p>hehehehehehehehe... I have been procrastinating... Well here is chapter 11. Hope you like :) I've been busy researching for my other story World War III: Hell of the Hero. Busy, busy, lazy, busy. :)<p>

Thanks for reading~!

~ Aiko-love-Anime


	12. Chapter 12

Dear Holy Rome,

I must thank you for your affection. You could not possibly understand how truly happy it made me to know that your love for me is so strong. Even in rejecting your marriage proposal, you say your love for me would never die? Holy Rome, there are no words that can explain how truly joyous your feelings have made me. I can only, in turn, state that I share the same feelings for you.

I love you, Holy Rome.

Miss Hungary took me on a picnic a few days ago. It was a most enjoyable outing; the weather was nice and Miss Hungary's cooking is always amazing.

I have sent the sketch with this letter. Do you like it? I worked very hard on it, and I'm very proud of it. I drew Miss Hungary when she fell asleep after we ate. In truth, I have not seen her so content in a long time.

Though the picnic was fun and we enjoyed our day out, I believe the entire endeavor was for Miss Hungary to get some space from Mister Austria. It seems that they have more and more arguments every day. I do not understand any of it. What am I to do? I feel helpless, like there is nothing I can do.

Why can things not be as they were? Why can you not be here to sit and talk with me? Why can Miss Hungary and Mister Austria not agree and go back to loving and understanding one another. Why can we not be happy?

Please come home, Holy Rome. Please.

With love,

Italy

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><p>I've been gone for a while... Please don't kill m-*shot*<p> 


	13. Chapter 13

My Dearest Italy,

Things have become difficult back home, have they? I wish you did not have to be in the middle of their arguments. It seems the battlefield is nothing compared to what you are going through. The best thing for you is to give them their space and let them get through their bickering on their own. I wish I could return to you, to protect you. If only I could.

When I return, I will take you away. I will take you wherever you wish; no land is too far away. I will take you to the ends of the Earth if you wish it so. All you have to say is where, and we will go there.

I promise that after I return, I will never leave your side again.

Though it breaks my heart to say, I believe my return is not in the foreseeable future. My men and I have progressed well into enemy territory, but the war is not yet won, my love. Be strong, and keep faith that I will return as soon as possible.

I am glad to hear you had a wonderful time on your outing with Miss Hungary. It makes me truly elated to know that you were enjoying yourself, even in a difficult time.

I am so proud of how strong you have become, Italy.

I very much love the sketch you sent me. I thought it impossible that one could improve perfect, but you have proved me wrong with your artwork. I only wish it was a picture of you, so I could see you again.

How long has it been? How much time has passed since I last saw you? This wicked war has parted us for what seems like eternity. I have changed so much; I left a boy, and now fight as a young man. I assume you have changed as well? Italy, you were so fair when I left, I can only imagine that you have grown even more beautiful since then.

Keep your strength, my love.

-HRE

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><p>It's my birthday today (YAY :D), but instead of getting a gift I decided to give one. So here's part one of at least two chapters I will upload today.<p>

Thanks for reading~!

~ Aiko-love-Anime


	14. Chapter 14

Dear Holy Rome,

You would take me on a trip? To wherever I want to go? You would really do that for me Holy Rome? I would love nothing more than to be with you.

It has indeed been a long time since you left for war. Months, Years, I have lost track of time. It certainly has been more than long enough, though. The last time I saw you I was but a child and now, now I have grown into a young adult. You have changed, you say? As have I.

I have grown much taller, though I am still a bit shorter than some. My voice has changed as well; I am finally starting to sound as I should. Mister Austria bought me new clothes, too. He said that I am not a child anymore, and now that I am an adult and I have to dress like one. The new clothes are so different than what I used to wear. In all honesty, I am afraid you won't recognize me.

May I ask you something, Holy Rome? I believe all you ever saw me wear were Miss Hungary's dresses. Did you by chance mistake me… for a girl?

If so, I hope my being a boy does not change your feelings toward me.

What I fear most in this world is losing this love I cherish so deeply within my heart.

Yours Regardless,

Italy

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><p>Yay Part 2 of my gift to you~.<p>

Pssst. Listen to Yiruma- River Flows in You, while reading ;A; Whole new level of cuteness.

Thanks for reading~!

~Aiko-love-Anime


	15. Chapter 15

My Dearest Italy,

I must say, your last letter came as a great surprise to me. I could not believe it; I thought it a lie, but I know all too well that you do not lie.

Nevertheless, girl or boy, woman or man, my love for you will not be swayed by something as simple as gender. My love for you has conquered the tallest mountains, ravaged the widest of plains, bested the deepest of seas, and stood the test of time; nothing can change what I feel for you. My affection for you shall never die. I loved you when we were children, I love you now, and even if I shall die, I will continue to love you forever.

My love, please worry not, but I will not be able to write for a while. We are preparing for the final battle. It will be long, difficult, and gruesome, but when it is over this war will be won. I will finally be able to return.

Upon my homecoming, the first thing I will do is visit you. I want to hold you in my arms again. I want to kiss you as I did on my departure. More than anything, I just want to be with you; to have you close again.

Always and Forever Yours,

-HRE

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><p>Part 3 of the birthday gift, Yaaaay~!<p>

Thanks for reading~!

~ Aiko-love-Anime


	16. Chapter 16

Dear Holy Rome,

You still love me? And so deeply? I cannot express how deeply thankful I am. Thank you. Grazie! Grazie mille! I was so afraid that you would change your mind about me. I should not of doubted you. Thank you, Holy Rome.

I await your arrival, Holy Rome. I hope you return safe and victorious. I have waited this long, so just a little longer will not be too much to bear. The final battle has come, and soon it will be over.

I can't wait to be with you again, to hold you, and kiss you. I want to walk in the field with you, paint in the garden with you, and swim in the river with you. Everything we used to do, I want to do it again with you, Holy Rome. I want to go back to before this war started; back when all of us were happy, and life was simple and easy.

See you soon,

Italy

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><p>Yay, 4th and final part of birthday gift~!<p>

Thanks for reading~!

~ Aiko-love-Anime


	17. Chapter 17

Dear Holy Rome,

I don't understand, I don't understand anything that has happened.

I opened the door this morning to get the milk, and found you standing there. Your clothes were ragged, you were covered in blood, and you carried the remnants of my deck brush in your hands. You spoke half a word to me before you crumbled to the floor on top of me. Before I could even make sense of what had happened, Mister Austria and Miss Hungary whisked you away. Terrified, I begged to see you, to see if you were alright, but Austria would not let me see you. He said to write you a letter for when you wake up, but I am so utterly afraid of what has happened that I don't know what to write.

I have no idea what has happened to you, nor do I know if you are even alive. The very thought of you being gone is too much; I know you kept telling me to be strong, but when it comes to you, Holy Rome, I can't help but cry. I love you. I keep praying, I keep praying and hoping you are alright. After all, you did make it home, but I just cannot help being afraid of losing you.

I love you, Holy Rome, and I wait with bated breath for your eyes to open.

Yours Faithfully,

Italy

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><p>;A; Is it bad that I/ want to cry?

Thanks for reading~!

~ Aiko-love-Anime


	18. Chapter 18

Dear Holy Rome,

It's been a month since you returned home, and I still haven't been able to see you. Mister Austria won't let me in the room he is keeping you in. It's almost unfair; you are so close, and yet I can't reach out and touch you, hold your hand, or even feel your warmth.

I still do not know much about your condition. All I receive when I ask Miss Hungary is a weak smile and a pet on the head as she says something along the lines of you doing better than the day before or you showing signs of waking up soon. And I have long given up trying to ask Austria about you.

Austria and Miss Hungary have been fighting, as usual, but now the fighting is over you. Hungary is angry that he didn't go to war with you. Austria defends himself stating that he sent soldiers to help and protect you. Hungary angrily retaliates saying he didn't send enough of them. After a bit of squabbling, they leave one another to be alone to calm down. They are not doing well, but I suppose that's obvious.

Prussia comes by to see how you are doing every so often. Austria, Hungary, and he have long, drawn out discussions. I'm not allowed to be a part of them, but I guess they are about you, Holy Rome. He seems to do more harm than good; by the time Prussia is gone, Austria and Hungary are fighting again.

I won't let it dishearten me, though. I will do as you told me to, and keep smiling. I forgive them for fighting; I understand that everything is very difficult right now.

I suppose all I can do is look toward a better tomorrow when I can see you again.

Love,

Italy

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><p>Thanks for reading~! And for making this my most reviewed story~! I love you all!<p>

~ Aiko-love-Anime


	19. Chapter 19

Dear Holy Rome,

I'm going to miss you.

Austria beckoned me into his office to talk today. He told me about your conditions; he, well, no one has seen anything like what is happening to you. He said that when a nation dies, a new one is born, but you aren't dead, sort of, so a new nation hasn't been born. I don't understand. He says that your still you, but when you wake up you won't be you, how does that make sense? I don't know, Holy Rome. I don't know what to do.

He said you have been hurt far greater than anything that could be healed. He says that when you wake up, you won't be you, and that it would be better for all of us to just start over. I didn't understand.

But I agreed.

After that, Austria finally let me see you. You grew up Holy Rome, but I guess that's to be expected. You were much better built than I am; surely you were very strong.

And as I said in that room, I'll write it here. Even if you forget me, even if you forget the love we share, I will always love you, Holy Rome…or whoever it is you will be.

I will never let this love between us die.

I gave you a long-awaited kiss, and began to cry. Why did it have to be the last?

Farewell,

Italy

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><p>Thanks for reading~!<p>

~Aiko-love-Anime


	20. Chapter 20

Dear Holy Rome,

It seems that I will not be seeing you for a long time.

Earlier today, I walked into a heated argument among Prussia, Mister Austria, and Miss Hungary. Prussia wanted to take you back to his house, far away from here. Austria was not sure what was the right thing to do, but Miss Hungary was entirely opposed and refused to let you go with him. I should not have, but I interrupted them and asked if he was taking you away.

Mister Austria pulled me aside and explained to me that you being here will be no good for you. Or for me.

He told me that you only had a fraction of the land you once ruled over, and that was to the west of Prussia. Prussia chimed in then, stating that he'd be you're "awesome big brother."Miss Hungary dismissed him, saying Prussia was not suited to guide a newly reborn nation. She beseeched Austria to keep you here, where we could take care of you.

That was when I began to beg him, too. I pleaded Austria not to let Prussia take you away; you just came back! And I swore to him, to myself, and to you, even if you would never be the same again, I would fall in love with you all over again.

I remember snatching your hand and locking it within my own. And praying; praying harder than I ever had before. _God don't let them take him away. Not again. Not when I just got him back! Don't let them take him away!_

My body was trembling, in anger and agony with the tears I refused to cry.

Austria made his decision. He grabbed me by the shoulders and tried to pull me away from you. Half stating, half shouting, that his decision was final and you were going to live with Prussia. Miss Hungary started shouting in defiance, and Austria ordered his guards to escort her out. Prussia's men tried to take you away, and as I clenched onto your hand as if I held your very life in my hands, Austria tried to rip my iron grip from you.

I have never spoken a word of profanity in my entire life, Holy Rome, but as they ripped us apart, I know I let a few coarse words pass my lips. My grip on your hand was loosened and you were whisked away from me in the next second. No amount of my screaming or nasty words would get them to bring you back.

As I screamed and flailed as Austria held me back, Miss Hungary took hold of a frying pan and began to down the guards around her in a final effort to get you back from Prussia.I begged. I pleaded. I swore to God that I would never steal food again, I promised I would not draw on Austria's paintings, I promised to do all of my chores and even take on more. But Austria refused to change his mind.

Despite her great feat of defeating twenty of Austria's best soldiers with only a frying pan, Miss Hungary was too late; Prussia had already set off with you.

Austria said that if I could be calm, I was allowed to watch you from the bay window. I calmed down, sat, and watched as you, my childhood love, were whisked away. And as I watched the tears finally fell from my defeated eyes.

I'm sorry for crying, Holy Rome.

But I couldn't even save my dearest love.

Italy

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><p>Yay, I actually have free time! (Thank you, Sandy.) So glad my internet hasn't shut off yet.<p>

So, yeah... I will have another chapter up later today ('cuz it's midnight).

And for anyone caught in Sandy right now, I'm praying for you. I'm getting the wind as I type this, I'm lucky to be away from any flooding areas. Stay safe everyone!

On another note, as if I weren't busy enough, I will be doing NaNoWriMo for November. Which is writing a 50,000 word novel in 30 days... So yeah, I'll be on hiatus again... Don't hate me.

Thank you so much for reading~! I LOVE YOU ALL~!

~ Aiko-love-Anime


	21. Chapter 21

Dear Holy Rome,

It's been a long time since I've last written to you. A long, long time. I've been kind of busy back at my place ever since you…died, I suppose? I am not truly sure what happened to you since you were taken away before you wake up. Nevertheless, I will keep my faith and think of the future when we can see each other again.

Can you imagine it? A future when we can fulfill the promises we made so many years ago. We could go on our trip, and when we get back we can spend the day in the garden. I will cook for you, and tell you all about what you missed while you were gone. We will bathe in the river together and paint in the field. And I, I will marry you, Holy Rome. We can have our wedding in Venice, or Rome, or somewhere else if you prefer; it does not matter where, I will even run away with you if it comes to that.

Yes, that is the future I will look forward to.

As I said before, it has been awhile since I last wrote you a letter. A lot has happened since Prussia toted you away that day. My people are coming together like they never had before; it is truly amazing to see their determination for unification. Oh, but that is just one thing that has happened, I speak of a thousand more; the new foods and beautiful music are two good examples. But I shall stay on the top of unification, or rather, reunification. It has been a rocky many years, but many of my people from states all throughout my land are beginning to come together as brothers and sisters. Perhaps one day I shall be strong enough to stand on my own, and stand free of Austria's rule. For now though, I wait.

On a happier note, I saw my brother yesterday for the first time in I've forgotten how long. It was so nice to see and talk to him again; I don't think I shut my mouth even once during his entire visit. The only thing that could have made seeing him better would have been if he was happy, too. He spent the entire day in a bad mood and complained about everything.

I don't blame him though; he's been through a lot and I suppose it is just the way he copes with everything. I truly do not mind him yelling if it makes him feel better, after all, I know his anger is not meant to be directed at me.

Being with Romano again, all I could think about was how it felt like it used to be, he and I together, talking and playing, cooking pasta and eating it together. Just like it used to be.

Just like it used to be.

Oh, Holy Rome, I cannot express how much I wish to return to the olden days when we were together all the time; when life was simple, and he and I could pass our time freely as we pleased.

Those days are behind us. But perhaps a better future lies ahead.

For all of us.

It is getting very late, Holy Rome, and though I still have much to tell you about, I have another difficult day of work tomorrow.

I promise to write again as soon as I can.

Farewell for Now,

-Italy

* * *

><p>*gasp* Could this be a new chapter? No, no it's just my imagination...<p>

Seriously though, I kicked myself around until I finally got this done. I swore to myself that I had to get this done by the weekend or else (whatever the or else was).

I'm sorry I haven't been uploading much at all lately. I am in my last year of high school and I am SERIOUSLY busy. Since November, I have applied to college, searched high and low for every possible scholarship offer in the universe, gotten accepted to my first and only choice college (YAY), and now must find out if I can actually go to this college. Hopefully, I'll get enough student aid to go to college, if not, it'll be a long, long year of disappointment. I have a lot I still have to do to prepare for college so please be patient with me.

I SWEAR TO YOU ALL THAT I WILL NOT ABANDON THIS STORY, I LOVE IT WAY TOO MUCH! This is where I stopped pre-writing so I have to draft the rest of the story out before I can start writing again. Due to my busy schedule, EVERYTHING IS ON HIATUS. The summer is the best time for writing since I have so much of it to kill, but again, I am preparing for college so that might change. Please bear with me.

Thank you so much for reading (and dealing with my rant)~! I LOVE YOU ALL~!

~ Aiko-love-Anime


	22. Chapter 22

Dear Holy Rome,

My yearn for independence from Austria grows stronger with each passing day. I can feel the pull of freedom beckoning me into its outstretched arms, but I do not want to fight for it.

In truth, I am deathly afraid of war. I don't ever want to see another nation or its people mangled by war's cold, dead, evil hands. No, if I saw another twisted and bloodied as you were upon your death, I don't think I could take it.

No matter what I do, this churning sensation in my heart brings me right back to revolution. I want my freedom and I want my citizens to be happy, but I do not want to fight for I fear I will lose them. My precious people are everything to me.

What do I do, Holy Rome? I do not want to fight, I do not want to see the bloody bodies that fell pray to my own selfish want of independence. I do not want to pay the price; I do not want to lose anyone else.

What do I do, Holy Rome? What can I possibly do?

Italy

* * *

><p>Hello, my lovely readers. I will be uploading the next four chapters (including this one) through Sunday. However, I thought I'd make things a little interesting for all of you. I will ask a question and the first user (you must be signed in so I can reply to you) to comment the correct answer will get two one shots of one or more of their favorite pairings. You must answer before the 25th chapter is published. Here is the question:<p>

Why will this St. Patrick's Day be especially important to me?

Good luck, my dears!

Thanks for reading,

~ Aiko-love-Anime


	23. Chapter 23

Dear Holy Rome,

As my yearn for independence grows stronger within my heart and within the hearts of my people, they have begun to revolt against Austria.

It pains me like a sword to the chest whenever one of them gets hurt, and every time one dies I feel as if my heart is being ripped out altogether. But I cannot stop it; I have no control. A country is led by its people, and as nation's we have no say in what direction they lead us in. So is the same for me here and now.

I understand why they fight; their emotions coarse through my veins, their thoughts race in my mind, and their cries echo in my ears. I know their reasoning, I know their passion, and I know their hope; all lead to freedom.

So many also dream of reunification with my brother, Romano. I miss him so much, just as my people miss their families, some torn in two as the rest of their relatives live under the separate rule of the south under Spain.

My citizens grow restless as they wait for the perfect time to strike a powerful blow to Austria and set themselves free of his reign forever.

I do not want to fight, I do not want to fight.

But I have to.

Italy

* * *

><p>Hello again, my lovely readers~! No one has answered correctly yet so I'll give you all a hint.<p>

Why will this St. Patrick's Day be especially important to me?

*It has something to do with Hetalia and my love for it*

Two one-shots (at least 1,000 words each) are the prize for the correct answer. Good luck, and happy guessing~!

~ Aiko-love-Anime


	24. Chapter 24

Dear Holy Rome,

After years that dredged on like an eternity and failed attempt after failed attempt, I am finally free. I gained my independence from Austria. He is no longer in charge of my land or my cities.

My people are rejoicing over their new found freedom from Austrian rule. They cry tears of joy as they are reunited with their family members in the south. And I am beyond joyful to be with my brother once again.

Of the many joys I feel, freedom and reunification, the greatest joy I feel is that the fighting and the bloodshed is finally over. I never want to fight again. It is far too violent, war. I have seen more than enough pain and suffering to last a lifetime, and I want no more of it.

I have lost good men to a cause they thought just, and I am grateful for their noble sacrifice. It is thanks to them that I can now enjoy the things I lost time for so long ago. Now I can paint and cook and just enjoy all my land has to offer, for it is truly mine.

And as my citizens find their happiness, I too slowly move towards finding happiness myself.

Italy

* * *

><p>Still no right answers? Alright, two more hints for you~!<p>

Why will this St. Patrick's Day be especially important to me?

*It has something to do with Hetalia and my love of it*

*Think hard about the date: 03/17/20xx*

*What are you reading?*

Good luck, and thanks for reading~! Your answer must be entered before 7p.m. on Sunday when I post Chapter 25.

~ Aiko-love-Anime


	25. Chapter 25

Dear Holy Rome,

I saw you, or rather, who you have become for the first time today. He was awake, up and walking like the incident never even happened. He seemed well, and looked healthy; I'm glad for that.

He looks so much different than you did when you came crashing back into my life. His face is thinner, and he has such strong features. His eyes are cold, but I could see a fire hidden in their icy depths. He is well-built, and there is no doubt in my mind that he is a strong nation. A healthy glow surrounded his entire being. His brow remained creased, a sure sign he was a man of many responsibilities.

I did not meet him, though. I'm not ready yet.

I am scared to meet him. I am scared that he will be different than you, Holy Rome, and scared that he will be like you. I am afraid of what he will remember but, most of all, I am afraid of what he has forgotten.

Italy

* * *

><p>Why is this Saint Patrick's Day especially important to me? Today is the one year anniversary of writing this story. Congratulations to Shaman Shinobi for the correct answer! Keep a look out for those two new stories.<p>

I also have a big announcement. This story will end on this story's 2nd anniversary. That's right, an entire year more of this story. Originally, this story was supposed to end at 40 chapters, but if I can find enough material to keep it going without it getting boring it will carry on to 50 chapters. Thank you all for sticking with me for an entire year, and I hope you will stick with me for another. For this amazing occasion, I finally introduced-sort of at least- our missing nation. Wish Italy the best of luck.

Speaking of Italy, I would like to wish our favorite Italians the very best of birthdays (thank you to everyone who pointed that out to me). The fact that my anniversary fell on their birthday AND Saint Patrick's Day made this one hell of an amazing day.

Thanks for reading~!

~ Aiko-love-Anime


	26. Chapter 26

Dear Holy Rome,

Things aren't going so well back home. Freedom is great, but life is pretty bad right now. All of those things I hoped I could do after I broke away, they are impossible to accomplish as I am now. Life in my country is pretty dismal right now, I guess that is why so many of my people are leaving for the United States and other parts of Europe.

I am doing a little better than Romano. I am producing a decent amount of silk and a couple good businesses have started up. But life is not much better for me, or my people. A lot of them are still very poor.

Romano is very sick. His land is mainly used for farming and the land has not been yielding well lately. His young citizens are sent off to the fields or the mines rather than getting an education. And those "lucky" people employed to work in the mines, most of them are very sick, almost all of them have tuberculosis. He also has to deal with all of the bandits that are running loose down there.

I think he will get better soon, though. I think we will both get better. And hopefully soon.

We are a pretty young country. And pretty weak, too. I feel like I am failing my citizens; like no one is safe in their own homes. No one deserves to be as defenseless as they are, I just wish I could protect them as much as I want to.

Holy Rome, I really hope that everything can get better. I am trying so hard to make life better for us. I know you are watching over me, so please, anything you can do to help no matter how small would be of great use to us down here.

I really do believe that life will get better. I guess that is just how I am, forever the optimistic. For now though, I will work hard so I can bring a better tomorrow.

On an unrelated note, I have heard of tension throughout the world. They all have their treaties that are supposed to keep the peace, but I am not so sure that they will stop a war if one should break out. I really hope that does not happen.

I don't want to see any more bloodshed.

Italy

* * *

><p>Finally got this chapter up. Sorry for the wait.<p>

The awkward moment when your story turns out way more detailed than you originally planned...yeah, that's this one.

Oh and I almost forgot...how does close to 60 chapters sound?


	27. Chapter 27

Dear Holy Rome,

What a tangled mess the world has gotten into. Everyone is fighting; it's all just one big catastrophe of alliances. I don't understand why they fight. Can they not see that they are hurting each other? The blood they draw, the bodies they scar, the hearts they break, the innocence they steal; can they not see what they are doing?

They have their reasons, but are they truly justified? Some of them are fighting out of obligation simply because they are in an alliance with someone else in the war. That's how this whole big mess started in the first place. Austria and Miss Hungary, Great Britain, France, Russia, and so, so many more countries are out there beating each other to death.

I don't understand. I can't understand. I never will understand! Everyone hates war, don't they? So why? Why do they continue to kill each other?! They all know what it feels like to lose people they love. So, why do they force that same pain onto others?! Why do they hurt each other? Why can't we all just get along and help each other out?

I never want to enter this war. Just watching from the sidelines is painful and terrifying. I get flashbacks, Holy Rome, of my independence, of the blood and death. It hurts so badly. I don't ever want to fight again, I would do anything and everything to stay away from war. And I have, but it seems my government is taking interest in joining the bloodbath.

Save me, Holy Rome. Please, I don't want to feel that kind of pain ever again! I don't want to fight the ones I love. I don't want to lose anyone else.

Italy

* * *

><p>I'm a bit behind on uploading due to finals, but they're over now! And after graduation next week, it's all over. Hello~ Summer! I will hopefully upload more between the summer job I'm supposed to get and preparing for college. Look forward to a hopefully busy summer!<p> 


	28. Chapter 28

Dear Holy Rome,

This war is progressing terribly well. My government signed a treaty with Austria and Miss Hungary as a defensive measure earlier on, but my government has been tempted with offers of land by countries in The Triple Entente.

Even though my government has sided with Austria and Miss Hungary, I can still taste the bitterness my people have for Austria. And I cannot ignore that I feel their emotion swell within me whenever I see him. And I hate feeling that way.

He did what he thought was best for you; I don't blame him for sending you away. And I gained my independence from him, so these feelings should have faded from my heart. But they haven't. And I don't understand why. Maybe it's these feelings of confusion and bitterness that led the others into joining the war.

But I don't want it to be the reason I am dragged in.

I fear Austria might try to take my land from me again, and I just want to protect my people and their freedom. I won't let him take me back. I won't let my people feel that kind of pain and hardship again.

I don't want to fight, and if I could avoid it any longer I would. But I can't.

So I've joined The Triple Entente. Watch over me, Holy Rome. Watch over my people. And watch over all of us in this horrible disaster.

Italy

* * *

><p>Stay strong, Italy ;A;<p> 


	29. Chapter 29

Dear Holy Rome,

Why? Why am I in another war...? Why am I forced to fight in a battle I did not even want to take part in? I just don't understand it! It's not fair! No, it's more than just unfair, it's cruel. I just want to be happy. Why am I not allowed to be happy? Every time a little joy comes into my life, it's snatched away before I can savor it. I know why my people wanted to fight in this war, but I just can't stand seeing them get hurt and hurting others.

It just hurts so much to watch people die.

I am terrified that no one will return home to their families; that they will all kill each other and no one will be left. And I'm terrified of all the stronger nations. My reunification with Romano was not so long ago, and we are a very young nation fighting against countries that are hundreds of years old. My military hasn't had the years of training and experience that so many of their militaries have earned over the years.

I wish my government had stayed out of the war completely so I could have remained neutral like I intended. But life as a nation is not so simple. I suppose you know that more than anyone.

I truly wish you were still here, Holy Rome. I miss the way you used to protect me. I miss the way you used to hold my hand and tell me everything was going to be alright. I miss how you used to go out of your way to keep me from thing that would hurt me. I wish I could have your protection right now.

I feel so selfish for that wish.

Italy

* * *

><p>Finally got this chapter out! Finally! I have been running around like a chicken with its head cut off this summer. I did get into college by the way, not my first choice college but definitely one I like. And I finally decided what I want to do, so that's a bonus.<p>

I start college mid-August, so I don't know exactly how much time I will have in between cram sessions. I will try my best to get 5 more chapters out by August 18. I promise that the story will finish on time.

Thanks for reading,

~Aiko-love-Anime


	30. Chapter 30

Dear Holy Rome,

The war is ongoing, and I am mainly fighting with Austria. Though my men fight valiantly, I am not having much success. My army lacks the experience that Austria's has gained throughout his many years at war. I wish my men did not have to be at war at all, so their lack of experience in fighting would not hurt them as it is now. Just today I've lost three hundred men, and for each one that falls I have a pain in my heart so I know that one of them has left this world for the next. I hope this war is over soon; as soon as possible.

I officially met Germany today. Before, I only knew his name when I was talking to Austria about our alliance. He seems like a very scary, stern type. And I made note to try and avoid him during this war, seeing as he is my enemy. But I can't always run away from all of my problems, especially when they're searching for me.

It's so weird how much he looks like you, and yet he seems nothing like you personality-wise. Even though I thought you were scary, in the end I found that you were really kind and you were always nice to me and always protected me from whatever it was that I feared. But he seems cold, as if he doesn't care about anything except winning this war. He is very strong military-wise, despite being a young nation. He has been winning battles waged all over Europe and, from what others say about him, he is a force to be reckoned with and a nation to be feared.

And I do fear him. I fear him terribly considering the circumstances.

He kind of took me prisoner *.

Italy

* * *

><p>*Literally prisoner of war. Italy as a nation was not captured in World War I.<p>

Half way done?

*jumps up and dances around the room*

*realizes I have 30 chapters to go*

*sits down and continues writing*

We're half way there, Ladies and Gentlemen. I am so excited for what is to come in this story. Now that Germany has made his official debut, the story will start to pick up some speed again. Hope you're ready!

~Aiko-love-Anime


	31. Chapter 31

Dear Holy Rome,

I don't think that I can explain how utterly afraid I am right now. I am in some unknown country far from home, along with many of my soldiers. We have been taken to a prisoner camp out past Austria's place, in this new nation's home, Germany. I have absolutely no idea where we are, or how far from home we are, or if we will even get to see home again. And I don't know what to do. He's thrown us in this camp among the soldiers from other battles he has won.

I can't believe how incredibly terrifying Germany is. His eyes terrifying me. They are as cold as ice that pierce through the hearts of anyone standing in his way. He wears a constant expression of anger, and I fear it is always toward me. Even his size intimidates me. He has to be a full head taller to tower over me as he does. Every time he walks passed, I feel as if I'll do something wrong and upset him to a point where he will lash out at me or one of my soldiers.

Sometimes I just can't accept that he is what came of you. And yet, there are scarce moments and I notice those very subtle things that he still does, as you used to do. I remember you being so kind, going out of your way to save me from even the slightest inconvenience. The way you used to glow when I thanked you for every little thing you did for me. I don't see that in him. But the way he huffs as he walks away, and the way he watches me just a second longer than necessary before averting his attention, those are among the little nuances that remind me of you. The way he watches the stars, like we used to do as children with nothing but hopes and dreams filling our hearts, and his eyes stare off to something that I cannot see, just like you used to do.

Is he truly you? Is it even possible for me to see you in him? Or am I just trying to see you in him because of how terribly I miss you? Am I trying to find some excuse for you to still be here rather than the far beyond where I cannot reach you? I have no idea anymore. All I know is that I love you and this nation has some kind of connection to you, no matter how much I want to deny it. Or believe it.

I don't know what to believe anymore.

Italy


	32. Chapter 32

Dear Holy Rome,

After a short time here in the prisoner camp, I realized that it is not so bad.

Sure, the situation and accommodations are less than ideal, but it could be so much worse. My men and I are fed every day and we aren't sleeping in the mud. We are actually pretty fortunate, considering some of the other countries torture their prisoners. And others don't take prisoners at all.

The thought makes me shiver.

It turns out that Germany is actually kind of nice, in his own way. He has thrown me a bit of extra food here and there, and he even brought me a few extra blankets for my men. It was really kind of him, seeing as winter is approaching.

This camp is enormous. It seems that every country Germany has skirmished with has prisoners here. There are a lot of French, British, and Russian soldiers. There are also a few Americans and some from other nationalities that I can't pick out from their uniforms, or talk to because of the language barrier. Each group pretty much keeps to themselves, aside from the British and the Americans, since they can't communicate either.

I have been learning English by listening to them talk back and forth; most of it doesn't make much sense, but I understand enough to know that they are talking about the war. They tell me that my troops, those who weren't captured, are not doing well at all.

But it's not like I needed them to tell me so; I can feel it in my heart. Every time it beats, it aches. I'm no fool; they are dying out there.

I hope this stupid war is over soon. Then we can all go home.

Italy

* * *

><p>Chapter 31 sent me over the 10,000 word mark for this story. This is the first story of mine to make it over that mark, and it won't be last.<p>

Thanks for reading~,

~Aiko-love-Anime


	33. Chapter 33

Dear Holy Rome,

Why must we have war? Why must we hurt one another? Why must we let greed for money and power overtake our compassion towards each other? Why can we not see that in the process of destroying one another we are destroying ourselves?

Why must we have war?

The camp is stationed far enough from battles that we can't hear artillery whizzing passed our ears, but at night, when all is still and silent, we can sometimes hear the guns firing and the tanks destroying. Some nights the sounds are so clear, that I believe I can hear good men dying. And there is an ever present glow that devilishly dances above the tree line against the black sky. On windy nights, the scent of gun smoke, rotting flesh, and charred bodies is carried through the camp. It keeps some of us awake, but others have learned to live with the stench. I hope I never become one of those men.

From the varied bits and pieces of information that slither their way around the camp and the pangs in my heart as justification, I know my men are not doing well at all. I fear the numbers, the numbers that have died, been injured, and those "lucky" to survive that will be crippled for life.

My men, my men. Why do they fight in a cause I don't believe in? Because they believe in it? Can they not see? Can they not see the pain, devastation, and destruction? Can they not see their own sadness and the sadness in those they fight? Can they not see?

Why can they not see?

Germany tells me of trench warfare in the west. He explains how gruesome it is over there. Men fighting in shallow ditches next to the bodies of comrades that have fallen hours, and even days, prior. Fighting so close to their enemies that they could walk over and stab you through if it weren't for your own ammunition keeping them in their trenches, just as theirs keep you in yours.

I am so glad my soldiers are not over there. Only God knows how many more I would have lost by now.

Holy Rome, when will this war end?

Italy


	34. Chapter 34

Dear Holy Rome,

Praise the Lord; the war is over. I hope that we can finally find some peace.

Germany let my people go from his camp, and we are free to go home. I can't explain how happy it makes me to see the smiles on their faces and to hear them talk so cheerfully about their families. Everyone seems to have so much more light in their lives now that the war is behind us.

I am so glad about that.

I was reunited with Romano. I haven't seen him in such a long time. He was captured for a short time and held at a different camp, but he escaped and went on fighting. Do you want to know the first thing he did when he saw me? He smacked on the back of the head and shouted at me for being captured for so long. Heh, typical Romano, right? After that, he pulled me into a big hug and told me he was worried about me. Hehehe, typical Romano.

All is not so bright and happy, though. The promise of land and wealth for joining the Allies was ignored. I did not receive anything I was promised by the others. My government was humiliated; I feel cheated and used. My people suffered so much for nothing. That is not fair.

But, I suppose, life is never fair.

Austria and Hungary have made their divorce official. Austria-Hungary is no more; their empire has dissolved. It looks like a few new nations are forming from the split. I think that is probably a good thing. And I think it is best for Austria and Hungary to part, because not only were their peoples growing weary, but their relationship had been strained for quite a while now.

It must hurt to be forced apart from someone you loved for so long, even if it is what is best for you.

I know Hungary has been needing this.

Italy

* * *

><p>I was FINALLY able to get back to this. Sorry it took so long. It's been over three months! School, holidays, family, and a whole lot of procrastination do not make a good mix.<p>

I plan on uploading two chapters a week now. Kick my butt into gear if I don't! It motivates me.

~Aiko-love-Anime


	35. Chapter 35

Dear Holy Rome,

I am so glad the war is over. I don't have to worry about my people out fighting anymore. I lost six hundred thousand men out there, nine hundred fifty thousand were wounded, and two hundred fifty thousand more were crippled for life.

I'm up to my neck in debt, it seems. My government spent so much on the war that inflation is through the roof. Many of the soldiers lucky enough to make it home are now unemployed. A lot of my people are moving to other countries in search of job opportunities. I, myself, am staying with Germany for a while. He is paying me, though it really isn't much.

Germany really doesn't have much to offer right now. He was virtually blamed for the entire war and is being forced to pay for most of the war costs. His people and government aren't doing too well at the moment either. He's deeper in debt than I am, but he still took me in. I think he is a really nice person deep down. He is a good friend, even though he's constantly yelling at me for all my mistakes. Hehehe. But, that's pretty justified I suppose.

I really hope that we can both get back on our feet soon. The more time I spend with him, the more I think it's you I am with, and the more I have to realize that it really is not and can never be you. And though I know it's true, I don't want to accept it. Even if I have to pretend, I want to think you are still here with me. Still watching over me. Still reaching out to me. It is still hard to accept that you're really gone. I still dream about you, and sometimes I have to catch myself in thinking that you will be back soon.

I know very well that it isn't a possibility.

Italy


	36. Chapter 36

Dear Holy Rome,

Germany is pretty tired all the time. He is actually sleeping right now, so I am trying my best to keep quiet so he can rest. He has been working really hard recently so he can pay off his amassing debt that only seems to skyrocket by the day. He works terribly long hours only to come home and sleep for the few hours he can.

It's so painful to see such a strong nation struggling.

Due to his printing more and more money, inflation has exploded. He and his people are forced to work long, tiring hours for pay that may not cover the cost of food by the time they make it to the store. It's pretty obvious to say, but Germany is having a very hard time.

I wish I could help my friend, but _I_ came to _him_. I am not much better off and I don't have anything I can offer to aid him in his time of need. I wish I did, but I don't. It hurts to see my friend struggling day by day to just keep on living, or rather, surviving. Struggling means that there is a good chance of losing.

Losing means death.

And death means goodbye.

I'm not ready to say goodbye. Not again. Not after losing you. I never want to have to say goodbye to anyone ever again. I know that is an impossible dream and I'm just a fool holding on to a foolish dream he knows is all for naught, but I cling to it nonetheless because it keeps me moving forward when I want to stand still or try to turn back.

Sometimes, I like to wonder how it would be if you were still here, Holy Rome, and how you would deal with what is going on right now. How would you have done in the war? Would you have won or lost? How would you deal with having to pay for everything? Would you struggle like Germany? Or would you be able to manage? Somehow, I feel like you would do pretty much the same as he has and your situation would be similar as well. I suppose that could just be my trying to make the connection you two have, well, I want you to have anyway.

Although, it would be a lot different if you were still here, to me at least. We would be able to get through this tough time a little easier, I think. Sure, we would struggle like Germany and I are now, but our love would make everything bearable. Love makes everything possible. There is only so much my friendship with Germany could get us through and, though he is struggling, he seems to want to take on this tough time on his own. Maybe he is trying to protect me or he is trying to be strong, but I know that standing alone…

Standing alone gets lonely.

If it were you and I, at least we would have each other. Even if everything was going wrong and the world was against us, at least we could come home to one another and pretend for a moment that all is right so long as we are in each other's arms. I wish you were still here.

I miss you, Holy Rome.

Italy

* * *

><p>So, we will pretty much speed right on through this story. The rest will hopefully be a steady pace until the end.<p>

On a different note, once this story is completed I will be starting two new ones. I've been working on these two for about a year now and would like some beta readers to help me perfect them. If you are interested, they are both Hetalia fanfictions. One following Hungary on an emotional journey, the other follows Liectenstein as she is forced (or is she?) to find love in an arranged marriage. Both will be human AUs. PM me if interested.

Thanks for reading~,

~Aiko-love-Anime


	37. Chapter 37

Dear Holy Rome,

It's been quite some time since my last letter, hasn't it? Quite a few years. Well, life wasn't looking too well for a while there. Not for any of the nations, really.

But, it seems everything is getting better. I have a new leader who has been doing the nation some good. I'm so glad that my people have some stability again. Germany's life is getting better, too. After some aid and negotiating his repayment of war costs, he is not suffering as much as he was not too long ago. It's great that his people can get some rest after such a troubling time.

Oh, he has a new leader, too. My leader does not particularly like his leader, so seeing Germany has been a little difficult recently. I'm glad that these feelings aren't so extreme that it would lead to a conflict; I can't imagine fighting against my friend.

It seems that life is getting better for most everyone. I'm glad; it's no fun when everyone is sad all the time. I much prefer a world that is happy, singing and dancing as they spread love and understanding, rather than a world that is bitter and cold as they spread hate and division. Hopefully, we can keep on this road to prosperity and bring a better life to everyone.

I put my faith in the League of Nations to pave the way. Many nations have joined and sworn to stay out of war from now on. I hope we can all keep that promise.

That's it for now,

Italy

* * *

><p>I'm still looking for beta readers for my two upcoming stories. I have one for my Liechtenstein story, but the more the merrier! PM me if you are interested. Stay lovely.<p>

Thanks for reading~,

~Aiko-love-Anime


	38. Chapter 38

Dear Holy Rome,

It seems that my leader has had a change of heart. Germany's leader and my leader are getting along rather well now. They seem to have come together for some common interests. Something about expanding territories. In truth, I don't like the sound of that notion. But what can I do?

Germany introduced me to another nation today. He is Japan. He is really quiet and polite. I hope we can be good friends. He is a lot different than anyone else that I have met. He doesn't much like hugs, but I suppose that he is not the only person to be uncomfortable when being hugged by someone they just met. Hehe, Germany reprimanded me for it. He told me Japan isn't used to our customs or cultures quite yet. Oopsie. Japan forgave me, though.

Germany, Japan, and I talked for a long time. We talked about all the big important things like politics and economy, and some smaller stuff like our cultures and traditions. It was very interesting to learn about how different Japan is from Germany and I. I learned a lot about Germany, too.

He's changed so much from the time you were still here.

Anyway, we talked on, long into the night. Germany mentioned that he and his leader had ideas of different world. He also mentioned that he would need help in creating it. He spoke of a future that would be a thousand times better than the harsh years our people are still recovering from. The idea intrigues me, but I have to wonder…

Is this change going to cause a war?

The world is not so easily changed, even if it is for the better. Though I want the best for my people, I would rather they muddle through hard times than die in another war. But, what if that new world was worth fighting for? No, no. I want a better world, Holy Rome, I truly do; a world where no one hates anyone else and we all live peacefully with one another. But I want to avoid that kind of suffering at all costs. If only our people could see the world through our eyes. Maybe they would stop.

I pray there will not be another war; the last one was disastrous. Have we learned nothing from it? Maybe we can reach this dream of a better world through negation and trade. You scratch my back, I scratch yours, right?

I know it is a very optimistic dream, but I suppose I am known for my hopefulness.

I don't want to think about what would happen if a war broke out. Would Germany and Japan ask me to join them? Would I? Would I put my people at risk? I know I would never want to, but if my friends needed me? Wouldn't I take action to help them? Or would I let them deal with it on their own and hope that they do well without me? Both decisions seem so terrible; there is no winning choice.

No, no, no. I must stop thinking about bad things that _might_ happen. I must stay positive. I have to stay positive. We can make a better world through communication, through understanding and love. Yes, that's it.

We'll spread love. And make a better world.

Can you see it, Holy Rome?

I almost can.

Italy


	39. Chapter 39

Dear Holy Rome,

Germany and I signed a treaty of friendship. Shortly afterward, Germany and Japan signed a pact against the Soviet Union. Then, Japan invaded China. I later signed the pact, too. Germany and I signed the Pact of Steel, assuring military provisions. Germany invaded Poland, despite Great Britain and France warning him of retaliation.

And the world erupted into war once more.

I entered the war on June 10, 1940, when I declared war on Great Britain and France. We invaded France, and Germany took control of a lot of his territory. A few months later, Germany, Japan, and I signed the Tripartite Pact and we became the Axis Powers.

Are you looking down on me, Holy Rome?

Foolish me, not wanting war. Thinking it wouldn't happen. I didn't want it to. I wish it didn't have to be this way. I didn't want to join this war. I don't want to be a part of this war.

But my friends need me.

They need my help, my supplies, and my men. I can't leave them to face the world on their own. What friend would turn his back on them? No, it would not be me. If we fight, we fight together. We take care of each other, watch each other's backs.

It didn't have to be this way.

And yet, here we are; sitting in the mud, bullets whistling passed our ears, the bodies of fallen soldiers piling up around us. Bloody excuses for corpses strewn about, laying in the same spots they died in minutes, hours, or even days before. The corpses of my men, Germany's men, men from all the nations in this gruesome war, their uniforms so caked in mud it makes their origin indistinguishable. Such a dark taste irony has; is it only in death that we can be equal? That we can find peace?

Oh, Holy Rome, please do not judge my decisions. I did what I had to. My friends needed me. I was needed. Negotiation did nothing, trade did nothing, and communication did nothing. What do we do when all else fails? We take action.

I had to take action.

Please watch over me, Holy Rome. I can't take much more of this. The bodies, the blood, people killing people, hatred spewing from their guns and their veins. Make it stop. Falling comrades dying in vain, mud dyed crimson, uniforms stained red-brown, ear-splitting ammunition, screams of pain, screams of terror. Make it stop. The smell of rotting men, torn flesh, and open wounds. The frigid cold and the blistering heat, the taste of death across my tongue.

Make it stop!

Make it stop, Holy Rome. Make it go away. Make it all fade away into the past, like you used to do for me. Are you watching over me, Holy Rome?

I can't tell anymore.

Please forgive me.

Italy


	40. Chapter 40

Dear Holy Rome,

This war has been very harsh. It has strained the relationships of nations all around the world. It has stressed the friendship Germany and I share almost to the breaking point.

My failure in Greece forced him to come and save me. He truly did not want to get involved in Greece. My failure in North Africa did not help our friendship either. I feel like I have been more a hindrance to the Axis than I have been an aid. Germany is putting everything he has into this war and he has been faring well so far. Japan, too, has been exceptionally excellent in his endeavors. And I am failing them both.

I wasn't ready for this war. I didn't have the equipment or the supplies. They say they need me and I want to help, but I don't have much to offer that can benefit them.

My mistakes are draining Germany's patience with me. He is tired and getting annoyed with all the things I am doing wrong. I hate it when he gets mad at me. I feel so useless. He tries so hard not to yell at me because he knows how hard I am trying. He is so stressed about everything that is going on around us, even though he is doing well. We all know that the tides of war can turn in the blink of an eye.

He has stationed some of his forces in my nation for now. Perhaps their presence and reinforcement will help me do better. I want to try harder, accomplish more, and I hope I can keep fighting. After all, we are fighting for a better world, right?

Better for who?

Italy

* * *

><p>Only twenty more chapters to go. Spring break starts Monday, so expect an entire week of uploads. Ideally, twice a day until March 17th when it will come to an end.<p>

I am still looking for beta readers for upcoming stories. PM if interested.

Thanks for reading~,

~Aiko-love-Anime


	41. Chapter 41

Dear Holy Rome,

The war has been brutal, leaving my men and I little to no time for rest. After what seems like an eternity, we finally have a moment to stop and catch our breath.

The Axis Powers are still doing well, despite a few setbacks. America has entered the war and Germany set his plan of invading Russia into motion not too long ago.

I don't really want to think about the war, not in this moment of peace I have right now. But it just keeps gnawing at my mind like a parasite that refuses to die. I really wish I had not joined the war. Did my fellow Axis Powers really need me? They could have fared well without me. So many of my people would still be alive if I didn't.

My men are sleeping now, some curled up in cots, others sleeping on the ground. They are probably dreaming of Christmas with their families back home. With the way the war is progressing, I don't think any of us will be back in time for the holidays. I'm glad they are resting, though; I cannot find it in myself to sleep. I can still hear the wailing of my people, the whistle of rounds whizzing past my ears, tanks firing, men falling, boots tramping in the mud, medics shouting orders, lives slipping away…

Is this the same restlessness you once wrote of? I wish you didn't have to experience it. I wouldn't wish this pain on anyone.

With my inability to sleep, a poem has come to play over and over in my mind. It's something I made up on my own, and I feel if I write it down I may finally be able to sleep tonight. It doesn't have a title, but I don't think it needs one. It explains itself.

_._

_All I see are shades of gray,_

_Despite the sun beating down_

_On my battered men today_

_Colored by only bloody red and mud brown._

_._

_Duck down as shots are fired_

_How much farther must we roam?_

_My men are weak and tired_

_Yearning for the lips of their lovers back home._

_._

_How I mourn the men I've lost_

_Never forgotten but missed_

_Our cause isn't worth the cost_

_Waiting in winter's cold hands to be dismissed._

_._

_Never have I known so sad_

_A sight of death as I see_

_A soldier lost all he had_

_Where does he come from, does he belong to me?_

_._

_Unidentifiable_

_The battered bodies remain_

_Losses undeniable_

_A memory that harbors in a bloody stain._

_._

_Will it end soon my lover?_

_Sights and sounds so hard to bear_

_When will we all discover_

_We can go much farther with a little care._

.

I think it helped a little bit, Holy Rome. I am going to lay down now. Maybe sleep will come to me. I hope it does, every part of me is tired. If I don't rest, it feels like my body will shut down.

Maybe it would be better if it did.

Italy

* * *

><p>I'm behind again. Curse my sudden urge to start new projects. *sigh*<p>

Hopefully I can get three more chapters out today.

Thanks for reading~,

~Aiko-love-Anime


	42. Chapter 42

Dear Holy Rome,

The war has taken a turn for the worst for the Axis Powers. Germany's invasion plan has failed and with his supplies and men so far spread out, his forces were decimated. Russia has pushed him back out of his territory and deep into the German front. With Germany's forces failing, the strength of the Axis is deteriorating. It seems with the Allies advancing from all sides, the end of the war is coming.

I don't know what to do, all seems lost. My people are growing weary of the forces Germany left here in my home. I feel like I have lost control of everything I love and care about; all of it is just slipping through my fingers. I just want to make it out of this war alright. I already have some battle scars, I hope I can make it out of here without any more.

This war has been far too long. Everyone is tired and just waiting for this all to be over. I think the entire world will take a sigh in relief when we call a ceasefire. Can you imagine how happy all the soldiers will be when they can return to their lovers back home? All the joy of running home to hug and kiss their wives, girlfriends, mothers, sisters, and all the friends they had to leave behind. For the first time in years, people will have a reason to smile again.

I'm looking forward to smiling again.

Italy

* * *

><p>I didn't have internet for a while, so enjoy a huge upload today and tomorrow.<p>

Thanks for reading~,

~Aiko-love-Anime


	43. Chapter 43

Dear Holy Rome,

So much has happened, where do I begin?

I thought this war was all but lost for me. My people ousted their leader, having tired of his rule and his alliance with Germany. With the Allies forcing my surrender, I thought my time in this hell was up. However, I felt as though I had unfinished business. It is most likely the bitterness in my people's hearts, but shortly after my surrender, I switched sides and now fight against the remaining Axis Powers.

I have grown weary of Germany's men running my home. It is my home, my people. For a while now, I have wanted him to leave. It is not his place to rule. I can feel the distaste and the bitterness my people have towards Germany and his men. They want him out as much as I do. The Allies have been pushing their way northward through my home, besting his fraying and disorganized forces. Hopefully, I will be free of his influence soon, and my nation will finally feel like it is mine again.

Despite the harsh feelings towards Germany, I did not want to abandon my comrades. You have to understand, Holy Rome, that was never my intention. With the Allies pushing through my land and forcing my surrender along with a growing disdain towards German forces, what was I supposed to do? My loyalty, above all, is to my people. I hold them as my top priority and nothing, not even my relationships with my fellow nations, can ever come close to being as important to me as they are.

Though I did what was best for my people, I still can't help but feel I betrayed my friends. I left them to lose a war. Can you imagine what will happen? With how terrible the repercussions of the last war were, I can only stop to wonder how devastating the punishment for this war will be. Perhaps it was the fear of being reprimanded and the relief that I will not be punished that makes me feel so guilty.

Can you understand, Holy Rome? Do you understand why I had to do what I did? I hope you can. I really thought I made the right choice, but I truly feel I have betrayed my friends. Do you think I made the right decision? Sometimes I wonder what you would do in situations like this.

I feel like I'm stuck in between a rock and a hard place. No matter what decision I could have made, I still would not have been able to win.

Of course, this is war; there are no winners.

Italy


	44. Chapter 44

Dear Holy Rome,

This war is just about over. Germany surrendered. Now, it's just a waiting game to see what the Allies decide to do.

I found him outside, sitting on the steps as he waited for a verdict on what is to be done to him for starting the war. He had his head in his hands, wondering what they were going to do with him, no doubt. He seemed worried. He was a bit jittery, it's quite odd seeing cracks in his stone-faced façade, but he has a right to be worried. With how harsh he was treated after the last war, he is stressing over how terrible the repercussions for this one will be. It's scary to think about.

I really do feel as if I have betrayed my old friend and, though he accepted my company as we waited for the verdict, I feel the man my lover left behind will never forgive me. After everything that has happened, I would not expect him to forgive what I have done. I betrayed our alliance, I betrayed our friendship, and I betrayed his trust.

I offered him my hand. I expected him to slap it away, but he took it firmly in his own. I wonder if he despises me deep down for betraying him and the other Axis Powers in their time of need.

I wish I didn't have to.

After that, we stood up and walked our separate ways. All there is left to do now is wait. Wait for the verdict that will decide Germany's fate.

Italy


	45. Chapter 45

Dear Holy Rome,

As the Allies are still deciding on Germany's punishment, the two of us were able to spend a little time together.

We talked about the war. We both lost a lot of men and we are both happy that it is finally over. All of our people get to go home now and return to their normal lives where they will hopefully never have to pick up a weapon again. We agreed that the war dragged on far too long. With it over and done with, we can finally take a moment to catch our breath. Even if it is just a moment.

We talked about the future, too. Germany expects a very heavy punishment to come his way after the verdict. He is really worried about his people and how they are going to survive; they had been through so much already. He just wants them to be able to live worry free like they used to be able to so many years ago.

We went on to talk about the two of us. Germany said that he wasn't upset with me for changing sides. He told me that I did what was best for my people, and that is what a nation is supposed to do. He said that he knew by the time the Allies were chasing him out of my home that he had lost the war. He couldn't blame me for getting out while I could. He understood everything.

I had to hold back tears; I really thought I had lost my dear friend.

Italy


	46. Chapter 46

Dear Holy Rome,

The verdict is in. First, Prussia was abolished, and he now lives with Germany. Due to his part in the war, the Allies decided Germany cannot have much power to himself. They divided his home into four zones; one zone for the United Kingdom, one for France, one for the United States, and one for the Soviet Union. The same was done for Germany's capital city, Berlin, though it lies completely within the Soviet Union's zone.

Germany was placed under several restrictions, but I didn't hear most of them because I zoned out. I know I shouldn't have, but I haven't been sleeping well. I've been worrying about him constantly. The next thing I heard was that Germany and Prussia would be living in separate zones.

With the decision finalized, the meeting was adjourned and the nations dispersed. Germany and Prussia gave a rushed, bittersweet goodbye and told each other it was just for a little while, before they were pulled to their respective sides.

Losing some land, like I did, can't even compare to what Germany now has to face.

Pray for him, Holy Rome?

Italy


	47. Chapter 47

Dear Holy Rome,

Due to disagreements between the Soviet Union and the other Allies with zones, Germany was divided into two separate countries; the German Federal Republic in the West, and the German Democratic Republic in East. West Germany is comprised of the U.K., France, and the U.S.'s zones. East Germany is the Soviet Union's zone. Berlin was split in two as well; West Berlin being a part of West Germany, and East Berlin belonging to the Soviet Union.

Prussia is stuck in the East; Germany is alone in the West. Seeing each other was rather easy before the split and, though it is still possible, it is rather difficult now. I have a feeling that the short separation they were expecting, will be much longer than either can hope. They are both very strong, I know, so they will be just fine during this time apart.

But that doesn't make separating them any less painful.

Or lonely.

I hope they can be reunited soon. Being separated from the ones you love is the cruelest thing that can happen in this world. And absolutely no one ever deserves to feel that kind of pain, sadness, loneliness, and emptiness.

No one.

Italy


	48. Chapter 48

Dear Holy Rome,

There had been rumors spreading around for quite some time about tightening border control between East Germany and West Berlin due to the incredible number of immigrants leaving East Germany through West Berlin to escape the Soviet Union's rule. No one, not America, England, France, Prussia, or even Germany himself, expected to wake up to a wall.

In the middle of the night, Russia had put up the barbed-wire fence and solidified the boundary between East and West Berlin. The two were caught off from one another in a matter of hours.

The difficult visits that Germany and Prussia were able to manage, are now completely impossible. Germany is worried for his brother's well-being. There is a perfectly good reason why so many people were leaving East Germany; the economy is falling apart and the people's freedoms are severely restricted. It is in no way a nice place to live. And Prussia is stuck over there.

Germany is constantly stressing about his brother and how he is doing over on the other side of the wall. I try my best to help calm him down; sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't. He has good reason to be worried; Prussia is probably going through some very tough times and he can't do anything to help him. I try to take his mind away from it for a while, and sometimes it works, but his mind always drifts back to his brother.

All I can do is comfort him in this time of loneliness. At least I can relate, right? At least I can honestly say that I understand what he is going through, that I have been through it before. That has to count for something. Hopefully knowing that he isn't alone in this experience of separation, he will come to be more relaxed and less stressed.

I can only hope.

Italy


	49. Chapter 49

My Dearest Love,

Shortly after the surprise of a barbed-wire fence separating West Berlin from East Germany, the fence was replaced by a sturdier wall of concrete blocks topped with barbed-wire to prevent anyone from escaping.

Germany hasn't heard from Prussia in a long time. In the very beginning, they could see and talk to each other through the fence, but now, with the new version of the wall and stricter guard around it, even approaching the wall is dangerous. Germany has been trying to stay strong; he knows his brother is holding his own on the other side, but he just wants to see him and be sure. It's not knowing that his brother is okay that is really hurting him deep down.

I try to talk to him, I tell him how I was once separated from someone I love for a very long time. I tell him that I understand what he is going through, and that I am here for him. But what can I do? What more can I say? My story doesn't have a happy ending, at least, not a completely happy one. What do you think that would do to him? Telling him that you didn't return would make him worry endlessly about Prussia, telling him you did would be somewhat of a lie. Maybe I could tell him that you did come back, and we were reunited, but you died shortly after; that's the truth after all. No, no. I can't say that; he would be worried about him dying after they finally see each other again.

My mind has been a bit of a jumbled mess lately. I have been trying to make sense of all these feelings running amok in my mind. Worry, understanding, hope, faith, sadness, emptiness, loneliness, yearning, depression, pain, fear, anxiety, and so many more emotions have been clashing about in my head and I have grown tired of it all. The only thing that settles the noise is being with Germany. When I stand with him, I can calm down enough to think clearly.

I feel much closer to Germany now; it feels as if we are closer than two friends can be. Of course, I suppose being able to relate to such a serious situation can bring forth such strong emotions. Being separated from someone you love is the cruelest and most painful thing that can happen in this world.

I should know, right? I lived it before.

Italy

* * *

><p>And the tides begin to turn. Italy has a hard choice ahead of him.<p>

Thanks for reading~,

~Aiko-love-Anime


	50. Chapter 50

Dear Holy Rome,

It's been a few years since I last wrote to you. Please don't think that I have forgotten you, it's just that I really haven't had much time and it just slipping further and further down my to-do list. No, that isn't completely true. I've been putting this letter off hoping something would change, but it hasn't. And I'm finally forcing myself to sit down and tell you about it because it's partially about you. But first, I want write about how Germany is doing.

A third version of the Berlin Wall was recently erected. Replacing the concrete blocks and barbed-wire is a stronger concrete wall supported by steel girders. It's even harder to scale than both of its predecessors; many have tried, and most, sadly, have failed.

The hope in Germany's heart grows dimmer with each passing day. He tells me that he believes that Germany will be so divided and different when the East is finally freed, that it may not want to reunify with him. I told him not to think like that; his people love him, and this hard time away from him would just be more reason to go back to him. He said he hopes I'm right. I do, too.

Now, on to the other matter. Those feelings I have been having about Germany have yet to go away. If anything they have grown. I no longer believe this is just a feeling of understanding and sympathy. It's is more than that, despite how much I wish it wasn't. The three of us, Holy Rome, Germany, and I, have had a great long history together and we will forever be linked to one another. It is the link between you and Germany that makes this so difficult. I don't want the undying feelings I have for you be my reasoning behind liking Germany.

I don't want to be in love with anyone else at all. You are the only one I have ever loved, and I want it to stay that way. The fact that he both is and isn't you has confused me greatly. I don't know what to do, and I don't know what to feel.

I need your guidance, Holy Rome. I feel so lost.

Italy

* * *

><p>Just ten more chapters to go. Time to start the countdown. 10!<p>

Thanks for reading~,

~Aiko-love-Anime


	51. Chapter 51

Dear Holy Rome,

A fourth version of the Berlin Wall has been completed. This one is much taller and impossible to scale due to the round pipe at the top that is impossible to grip. In between East and West Berlin lies a second counter-escape measure; a small stretch of land strewn with trenches, mines, another wall, electric fences, and so much more. On top of that, security has become stricter than ever; patrol dogs, search lights, and watchtowers have sprung up all along the East side of the wall. Escape seems futile. And so true, did Prussia discover when his small group tried, and failed, to make it over the wall. Escape attempts have become so common, but this one made news. The men he was with were very young, barely more than boys. The harsh treatment they received sparked controversy.

That escape attempt was one of the last chances Prussia had to make it over. Now, with that plan failed, Russia will certainly be watching him so closely that another attempt is impossible.

Germany has had quite a bit of anxiety after rumors spread that two of the would-be escapees were shot. Though nations cannot die by something so simple, Prussia's situation is a special case. He's wondering if it is probable that he could die under these circumstances. He has prepared himself to expect the worst.

And here I stand, when he needs me most, pondering my own foolish, problematic heart. Every day I spend by his side, I grow to cherish him more and more. But I cannot allow myself to love him. I just can't do it. I can't do that to you, Holy Rome. I swore that I would never love again.

As if this time was not hard enough, Germany began to tell me of fractured dreams he has been having. They sometimes involve a little girl in a green dress, but most others are about war, blood, and death. He says most of them are blurry, as if they are memories long forgotten that his mind is trying to dig back up. He says the rare ones, the ones about the little girl, fill his heart with a warmth he thought he had forgotten in these terrible times. He enjoys when she visits his dreams, despite the most common dream being her crying as she drifted off into the distance waving goodbye. Where she went, he has no idea.

Do you understand, Holy Rome? He remembers. Bits and pieces, yes, but he remembers. He remembers me. They are hazy because they are not his own memories, right, Holy Rome? They are yours. That is what is confusing him. That is why he can't make sense of them.

He didn't experience them, you did. I can't help but be happy that a part of you still remains within him. I knew it did. I know it always will. It's one of the many reasons I'm not ready to tell him about the past yet. I don't want to let go of this last piece I have of you.

I'm not ready to let you go, Holy Rome.

Italy

* * *

><p>9 more chapters to go!<p>

Thanks for reading~,

~Aiko-love-Anime


	52. Chapter 52

Dear Holy Rome,

The Berlin Wall—the symbol of division between the two Germanys that has stood for twenty-eight long years—has finally fallen.

Germans took to the wall on both sides, chipping away the barrier that separated them from their loved ones for decades. Germany himself slipped through one of the holes in search of his brother. Among the crowds of crying and cheering loved ones reuniting, he found Prussia, sitting on top of the wall. His arm was hastily bandaged and stained with blood. He looked terribly tired from the bags under his eyes and the bruises on his face. He held a cigarette in his teeth—one he was saving, no doubt—puffing a cloud of smoke out his nose. The marks on his body could silence the world, but the smile he held on his face when he saw Germany said it all; they were finally free.

He slipped down off the wall, and the two embraced so eagerly that it seemed like time around them stopped for a moment. It was the first, and only time, I have ever seen Germany cry.

All around them families embraced their long lost members. Lovers kissed for the first time in nearly thirty years. People laughed and people cried. It was as if all was right with the world once again. I saw an old couple, separated in their fifties, reunite in their eighties. Similarly, a couple separated in their mid-twenties embraced one another now in their fifties; all chances of starting a family lost, but love that could not be divided still binding them to one another. I also saw a young man, twenty-seven or twenty-eight years old, greet his father for the very first time.

Do you think this is what it would have been like for us, Holy Rome? If things turned out differently, I mean. Would you have run to me, and I jumped in your arms? Would we have laughed or cried?

Why couldn't we have had a moment like this?

Is this the reaction I would have gotten from you if hadn't passed away before we could see each other again? Is this the reaction I would get from Germany if remembered his past life?

I don't know. If is just that; if, it's a strong word, but only when put into action. And I can't.

Italy

* * *

><p>8 more to go!<p>

I have been waiting to write this chapter. The images of loved ones coming together after the Berlin Wall fell tug at a part of my heart I can't explain. The overwhelming joy they must have felt, I think some of it can still be felt to this day. Much peace, love, and respect to those that were a part of this piece of history.

Thanks for reading~,

~Aiko-love-Anime


	53. Chapter 53

Dear Holy Rome,

The two halves of Germany have reunified into one once again. Prussia now lives with his brother as he should have all those years ago.

I was able to see if for the first time in what seems like forever. He is rather sick right now, he has an infection in his wound and, without proper medical attention, it spread. That is on top of the terrible conditions he had to live through for so long.

Seeing him again brought up some rather bitter memories long forgotten; memories of him taking you, or Germany rather, far away from me. When we were alone, we talked about it. He went on talking about how awesome he was in battle and how he wished he could have saved you, Holy Rome. He told me he tried; he tried so desperately to help you, to save you. But he couldn't, and he failed you. He didn't want that to happen again, so he fought to take Germany home with him. He wanted, no, needed this second chance to prove that he would never fail you again. He feels like he did with losing the war, being abolished, and being separated from Germany.

I told him that you wouldn't have thought so; and neither does Germany.

That was when he told me something that completely shocked me; Prussia didn't tell Germany anything about his past. Not about the girl in the green dress that he left behind, not about the wars he fought, not about how he was born; he told him absolutely nothing. Before I could recover from the shock, before I could get a word out of my mouth, he relapsed. A flurry of doctors and nurses swooped into the room and ousted me from his side.

Absolutely nothing. What kind of big brother is he?

Italy

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><p>7 more to go!<p>

Thanks for reading~,

~Aiko-love-Anime


	54. Chapter 54

Dear Holy Rome,

Prussia has not recovered from his relapse. The infection may have spread too far, and the conditions he had to push through, may be the end of Prussia as we know it. He has stabilized for now, but only time will tell if he lives or dies.

I don't know if Germany would be able to take the loss of his brother; not after all they had been through, not after they just got to be together again. I pray he doesn't have to experience that pain; it almost broke me and I don't want to see that happen to him. I don't want to see the loss eat him up inside.

Do you know what Germany told me, Holy Rome? He said that he is happy that I am by his side through this unsure time. He told me that he likes having some certainty when everything else seems like it is slipping through his fingers. He took my hand in his and held it as tightly as he dared without hurting my fingers.

How can I feel so happy and disappointed in myself?

And so angry towards the nation lying there, trying so desperately to hang on?

Italy

* * *

><p>6 more to go!<p>

Thanks for reading~,

~Aiko-love-Anime


	55. Chapter 55

Dear Holy Rome,

It has been a few weeks since I last went to visit Prussia. The bitterness I retain for him, has stopped me from going. But Hungary said that she would be visiting, and asked me to come with her in case she couldn't bare seeing him. I agreed. Germany had been asking me to go back with him for the last several days as well. So I went for them.

After just a few short minutes, Hungary, in tears, excused herself. She left mumbling something along the lines of confusion and regret. She didn't come back after that. I can't blame her; the two have had their history and, good or bad, it still hurts to say goodbye. I really do hope that she doesn't have to.

About an hour later, Prussia woke up. Relieved, Germany decided to take a walk to clear his mind. And I was left alone to talk to Prussia.

I was just about to let a flurry of angry words slip passed my lips, when Prussia spoke up. He explained to me why he decided not to tell Germany anything. He said that he didn't want to hurt Germany with what he couldn't remember. The memories weren't truly his own, after all. I know all too well the pain that memories can cause.

I finally forgave him for keeping this all from Germany.

Prussia said in due time he should be told of his past, but only when the time is right. He ended the conversation by asking me a question.

"You still aren't ready to tell him, right?"

Whether he was speaking of Germany's memories, or my feelings towards him, I couldn't tell. But the little smile on his face gave me the idea that it was probably both.

Italy

* * *

><p>Just 5 more!<p>

Thanks for reading~,

~Aiko-love-Anime


	56. Chapter 56

Dear Holy Rome,

Prussia's condition stabilized, and he went home yesterday. I'm really glad that he is okay. We can all take a deep breath and relax now, seeing the worst is behind us.

With Prussia home safe and healthy, Germany and I have finally had some time to clear our minds and focus on the road ahead. I know that I am living in the past by refusing to let you go, but I'm just not ready yet. You were all that I ever cared about, I can't just pretend that we never happened, that we never loved each other. But after thinking everything over, I finally came to realize that, though he was born from you, Germany is not, and will never be, you. And I found that I love him anyway. It isn't the connection he has to you that has me falling in love with him; it's just him, and all he is and all he does.

He kissed me, Holy Rome. And I wanted more than anything to kiss him back, but I just couldn't. I couldn't do that to you, to us.

I know you would say to go and be happy. You would want me to move on and let my memory of you, of us, fade from my mind and my heart. You would tell me not to let my love for you hinder me in finding another to love. But I refuse to leave you behind. I don't want you to be just a memory. I don't want to forget the love we shared, because it was, is, true.

I don't want to love him.

I don't.

I don't.

I don't.

I don't!

I DON'T!

…But I do.

And he loves me, too.

Italy

* * *

><p>4 more!<p>

Thanks for reading~,

~AIko-love-Anime


	57. Chapter 57

Dear Holy Rome,

I have finally grown to accept the feeling I have towards Germany. I have kept him waiting; he is so patient with me, so kind. I didn't know what to do for the longest time; I was torn between my love for you, my long gone first love, and my love towards Germany, that had slowly grown in depths of my heart over the many years we spent together. He showed me how to love again when I thought that I had forgotten.

I know that it's time for me to move on from you, but the love we share will always be in a special part of my heart. I have spent over two hundred years living in the past, waiting for you to return to me, even though I knew very well that you never would, never could. It is time for me to put my best foot forward and look to the future with arm and eyes wide open.

It is time for me to let you go.

Just like you have been pushing me to all along.

Italy

* * *

><p>Just 3 left.<p>

Thanks for reading~,

~Aiko-love-Anime


	58. Chapter 58

Dear Holy Rome,

I went to visit you today, at the grave I built for you. The one that I've kept secret from all the others. Of course, you know the one. I said what I needed to there, but I feel that I should repeat it here.

I love you, Holy Rome. I will always love you. You will always be my first love, and you will always have a special place in my heart that no one else can ever reach.

I also want to thank you, for everything. But I want to thank you the most for pushing me to fall in love again. I don't think that I have been this happy since the day you went off to war. My heart feels light again and all my worries have disappeared. I truly love Germany, and I am thankful that you helped me see that.

I truly meant what I said, and I can't stress it enough. I love you, and thank you.

I have to go now, Germany is calling me.

Italy

* * *

><p>2 more chapters, my lovelies.<p>

Thanks for reading~,

~Aiko-love-Anime


	59. Chapter 59

Dear Holy Rome,

It is nice to finally get to write to you. Italy has told me so much about you. I know the entire story of who you were and how you two were childhood lovers. I understand that the love you shared was, and still is, dear to Italy.

Hey, Germany, don't forget to tell him that we are in love!

I was getting to that, Italy. Don't write that down.

Eh? But you just wrote that down.

Italy.

Ve~! Okay, I'll stop.

Right, where was I? Oh, yes, the two of us, Italy and I are very much in love. We are very happy together and I hope to keep Italy safe in your place, Holy Roman Empire.

We've been enjoying our lives together and we could never be happier, Holy Rome.

I agree with Italy.

Ooh, we didn't mention the vacation.

Oh, right. Italy and I are going on a long-awaited trip to some far off land outside of Europe. We don't know exactly where yet, but it is sure to be a great experience for the both of us.

Mmhmm, it's sure to be a lot of fun. I'm so excited!

I guess that I would like to end this letter by asking you a favor. It may be a bit of an odd request, but, Holy Roman Empire, I would like to ask for your blessing in taking over caring for Italy. I would also like to thank you for helping Italy through troubling times; though you died long ago, I know you were always there for him, and still are. Thank you for that.

With the utmost respect,

Germany, that's too formal.

Well what should I close with, then?

Umm… Oh! How about…

With warmest regards,

Germany and Italy

P.S.

Now that Germany is gone, I can tell you a few last things.

We are doing well, and we are hoping to spend forever together, though we take it one day at a time.

Germany suggested the vacation to me. Sometimes I wonder if he remembers the promise you made me of taking me somewhere when you returned. Perhaps not.

I know I've said this too many times before but, thank you, Holy Rome. Thank you for giving me the strength to move on. And for the strength to accept Germany as himself; not as your replacement. And for the strength to love again, despite how deeply my for you has been carved into my heart.

Thank you, for everything.

I hope that you are looking down from Heaven with a smile on your face; I really do hope that you are happy. I remember you once saying that my happiness was your happiness. With how happy I am now, you must be over the moon.

Thank you for your love in the past, for your guidance in the present, and my happiness in the future. You were a kind nation that did so many great things for me, and I will always love you for that. You taught me patience, in waiting for your return. You taught me kindness, in keeping me happy through the good days and the bad. You taught me sincerity, in being genuinely kind to me when I made mistakes. You taught me acceptance, by loving me as I am, despite our miscommunication so early on in our relationship. You taught me to move on, and letting your own feelings subside so your lover can be happy again, is not something that everyone can do. I thank you for that as well.

The most important thing you taught me, above all, was how it feels to love and how it feels to be loved in return. I will always love you for that great lesson.

Thank you.

* * *

><p>And so ends the last letter. There is, of course, 1 more and I hope that you enjoy it.<p>

Thank you for reading~,

~Aiko-love-Anime


	60. Holy Roman Empire's Lost Letter to Italy

My Dearest Italy,

I do not know if this letter will ever reach you, but there is something that I must tell you.

I will not be returning from this war.

I can feel it in my bones, in my very core; I am not coming back. I am sorry, Italy. I made you so many promises that now will all be broken. It hurts me to know I will never get the chance to see you or hold you again. It is a pain deeper than any sword can penetrate. How I so wish to be with you one last time before I meet my fate, but I suppose my memories will have to do.

My love, what I wish to say is this: If you should one day overcome your tears and find someone you hold dear, love that person with all your heart. Do not let my memory hinder your finding another to share your life with. What I want most in this world, is for you to be truly happy, Italy. No matter what you choose to do, do not let my memory change your judgment. Choose for yourself; choose for your own happiness, for your happiness is my happiness as well. I will love you no matter what you do. I am not saying to stop loving me, but let me go. Set your memories of me free, and do not let them weigh you down in times of sorrow. Live your life, as if sadness has never crossed you, Italy.

Would you so mind doing me a small favor? Just as you were born through your grandfather and me from mine, a new nation will be born from me. Would you watch over him for me? I know it will be hard on you, for he will resemble me greatly, but I will not be there to keep him safe.

It is strange, most countries that die are a bit older than I, and they have all reached a certain point in their lives that I have not. It is as if I have time left over, so I wonder… If their time was up and they bore young countries, will I, with time left over, bear someone older than me? As if the clock continued from where it paused? I have never heard of it happening, but who is to say it is impossible? With all I have seen I can certainly not say so.

Italy, please take solace in the fact that no country ever truly dies. Though your grandfather Rome has all but disappeared, his memory, his history, his remnants still live within you as it will be for whoever is born through me. No country is ever truly gone. No one can erase their existence. History states that we were there, that we lived and died, but traces of us can still be found within those that succeed us. I will still live within my successor, but do not use that fact as a reason to love him. Do not think that he is me, he will not be me, nor will I be him. However, if you find you love him truly and honestly for whom he is, do not hold back. Love him with all of your might, dwell in each other's strengths and forgive each other's weaknesses. Love wholeheartedly without fear, and without restraint, and if you can bring yourself to, love him more than you did me.

My time is up, love. They are calling me to the battle. Stay strong. And keep smiling.

Farwell My Dearest Love,

-Holy Roman Empire

* * *

><p>Now here is my question for you; did Italy receive this letter or not? Tell me what you think in the comments.<p>

That's it, my lovelies. It is with a heavy heart that I hit "completed" and truly bring an end to this story. It has been a long time coming, spanning from a very sensitive time in my life up to now where I have become much happier. I guess you could say that the story grew as I did, or vise versa.

I want to thank each and every one of the people that have supported me through this stories entirety. Thank you all for over 10,000 views, all the comments, story favorites, and follows. It's thanks to all of you that I was able to continue this story rather than letting it fall to the way side like so many of my other stories have.

I know this story isn't my best, it has a lot of mistakes and there is a lot I would change if I started over, but I am proud of it nonetheless.

I hope that you will continue to support me and my future fanfiction.

I am still looking for beta readers for two of my upcoming stories. PM me if you are interested.

Now I can finally say what I've been waiting all day for.

*ahem*

HAPPY SAINT PATRICK'S DAY AND A HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO OUR TWO FAVORITE ITALIANS~! I know Saint Patrick's day is over in most of the world, but I still have half an hour before it's over. So I can say, I met my deadline. *puffs out chest* I'm proud of myself for pushing through a random bit of illness I caught earlier today. I wanted to make the deadline, and I did. And I'm feeling much better as well.

Thank you for taking the time to peak into this little chapter of my writing. It means the world to me that others have come to enjoy reading my work as much as I have had writing it.

As always, thank you so much for reading~. Much love to all of you.

~Aiko-love-Anime


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